Gender Relations

One of the many paradoxes about China is that it is very conservative in its approach to homosexuality (i.e., it is neither acknowledged nor accepted), yet both men and women can be openly demonstrative (read: touchy-feely) with members of their own sex - and that is viewed as perfectly acceptable. It is common to see women walking together linked arm in arm, or even holding hands. Men will walk with their arms slung around each other. At English Corner, I often see female students practically hanging off each other.

Those who know me know that I'm very socially liberal. I'm proud to be from one of the few countries in the world that allows gay marriage. Yet even in "gay-friendly" countries like Canada, would we not make certain assumptions about two adult women holding hands? Those assumptions just aren't present in China. What a topsy-turvy world. I suspect a certain percentage of the Chinese population is gay - like the rest of the world - but that most Chinese gays are still in the closet. Like left-handedness, being gay marks you as different and this is a country where conformity rules.

An example of this homosexual non-acceptance/same-sex touchy-feely behaviour happened just tonight. Another teacher gave me the idea of holding a pretend speed-dating event in my Oral English class. Great idea! It certainly gives everyone a chance to speak - A LOT. No matter that there are only four guys in my class. I just had many of the women pretend to be men. I knew that would fly here in China.... there's an innocence here that allows women to pretend to be men wooing women with absolutely zero homosexual overtones. Some of the women were really hamming it up too, grabbing each other's hands and saying "I love you". Behaviour was more constrained in opposite-sex conversations. I accurately predicted that most of the "matches" would be same sex. Sure enough, at the end of the night, the women rushed to their desired partners - all of them other women. The four guys were left standing alone.

There's something rather Shakespearean about all this. In Shakespeare's time, homosexuality was tantamount to sodomy, yet men played female roles on the stage. It was acceptable within a given context, but once it went beyond those bounds, it was no longer ok. In China, you can be quite affectionate with those of the same sex - but that affection has to stop outside the bounds of a romantic relationship.