This Week's Miscellany

Here is some commentary on things that have either happened to me this week or have been rolling around in my head....

Challenging Gender Roles

There are some topics I won't go near with my students - but gender roles is not one of them. While China is not as traditional as Japan when it comes to gender roles, it's also not as progressive as North America. Some of my fellow teachers have commented on how female students will say they're not as smart as their male classmates.

So you can imagine that I - with the business background and aiming for the top of the corporate ladder - get great joy out of presenting students with a different perspective on male/female roles. At English Corner I was asked whether I want to get married and have children. I think I mildly shocked some of them (especially the guys) when I said that though I'd like to meet someone to share my life with, I don't want children. I've just never been the maternal type. Even "marriage" doesn't have to be a traditional marriage - I could do common law. It's almost unheard of here for men and women to live together before getting married. I was a little surprised to see a few of the girls around me nodding and agreeing when I explained my views. Things are changing here, especially for the younger generation.

I think it's no secret that although I'm quite career focused, I'm also very conscientious about the way I look - my vanity doesn't allow me to step outside my apartment without make-up! I make an effort to be the "whole package" - and I do this for me. I feel better when I look better. So in that respect, I hope I'm presenting my female students with a different view of femininity. You can take pride in your appearance and still be smart and successful.


Things I Miss

I'm starting to really miss some things that you can't get over here - or at least aren't as easy to get. I did a presentation on Canadian food and drink for some older students at another school. (Yes, I did talk about NL food, though I don't like much of it myself - e.g., fish and chips). Of course I had to mention Tim Horton's! When I arrive in the airport in Toronto, you can be sure my first stop will be Tim Horton's. There are days when I really crave a Tim's sandwich or chili - and of course, their coffee. The Chinese don't really do coffee. I have to make do with a cup of instant stuff in the mornings. McDonald's has "real" coffee, so sometimes I'll stop in for one when I'm in the Nan Da Jie area. Ironically, my consumption of tea has dropped here. I can't seem to get into the loose tea leaves. You can buy tea bags, but I don't bother with it. I drank a lot more green tea at home. The most tea I've had over here was the week mom and I were in Beijing.

Also on the topic of food, I miss steak! I'm really looking forward to a nice, juicy, BBQ steak when I get home. I miss happy hours with the girls at The Keg and Keg-size glasses of Pinot Grigio. Wine isn't very popular here and it's hard to find good wine, unless you want to pay a bundle for it.

I miss big, North American-style breakfasts - hash browns, sausages, toast.... yum! I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. Here, what people eat for breakfast doesn't differ much from lunch. As I mentioned in a previous post, the Chinese don't eat bread like we do. Once again, in Beijing it's much easier to live like a westerner. So I reveled in toast a few mornings there.

I also miss orderly lines....


Bu Hao Yi Si

I was having none of it this morning. After my early morning class, I stopped to get something to eat at one of the small snack places on campus. There were maybe four people in front of me. They were orderly. And just as I get to the front of the line, I see her coming.... I knew exactly what would happen next. She immediately skipped the line and started to push her money at the server. I don't think so girlie - not today. I was too tired and too hungry. I go right up beside her and say in a very annoyed voice "bu hao yi si" and hand over my money first. One of my tutors told me this means "excuse me". Now, I don't know if the annoyed-sounding "excuse me" translates well culturally in China - maybe there is a stronger phrase - but she knew what I meant. She was quite taken aback. Her friend started to laugh and I got a comment, but I only caught "English". Maybe she was saying "damn English speaker". I don't care. Damn line jumper!

In all fairness, I experienced some unexpected politeness this week too. A man (besides Teddy or Steve) actually held the door open for me and a male student let me go ahead of him in line in a convenience store. There's hope yet for chivalry in China!


Expectations Management

Thinking back to December and January, when I was preparing to come over here... it's like I can't even remember what my expectations were. I've learned so much and seen so much since arriving that it has completely obliterated any hazy images I had in my mind about China and its people. I think I was mentally prepared for more culture shock, which was good. I expected to find more differences. I didn't know what to expect from Changzhou. Not knowing what I'd find in stores here, I lugged over tons of toiletries (making my bag too heavy at the airport) - all things you can buy here, like contact solution and soap.

Having lived here now three months, I feel that the similarities are greater than the differences. I strongly believe that regardless of language or culture, people are essentially the same. Everyone wants to be listened to; everyone wants to be understood. My students laugh and smile. In fact, one of the things I'll miss most when I leave is all the smiling in my classes. I smile a lot, so maybe that's why I get a lot of smiles back. The smile is pretty much universal. Like young people at home, my students love to eat, sleep and hang out with their friends. People love a long weekend. Everyone is gearing up now for the Lao Dong Jie (May 1) holiday. I'm not travelling anywhere (technically, every weekend is a long weekend for me), but a friend is coming to visit and next weekend I'm going to Hong Kong.

And so concludes this week's miscellany :-)