The Two Chinas

I've been in China now almost two weeks. I'm fascinated by the "two Chinas". One the public China: This is what you see when you're on the bus, in a crowded restaurant or in a mall - basically any public space. In public the Chinese can be loud, garrulous and even rude (or at least what we in the west would perceive as rude). In my five months here, I'm not certain that I'll ever understand the staring, spitting and insane driving, though I might - hopefully - get used to such behaviours. This is the China that will require the most adjustment for me.

Then there's the private China that emerges when you get to know people personally. Zhan Cheng ("Teddy") is our waiban at Jiangsu Teachers University of Technology, which means he is the liaison with the foreign teachers. He works in the University's international office. Teddy has to be one of the most accommodating, friendly people I've ever met. He helped set me up with a mobile phone, he took me to Wal-Mart and Tesco, and yesterday we went to the Changzhou Museum. We were going to visit China's largest Pagoda today, but a cold has temporarily put me out of commission. I get the impression that Teddy truly likes helping the "foreigners" settle in; he doesn't act like he's just doing it because it's his job.

Above: Teddy at the Changzhou Museum

Then there's "Bessie", the friend of a friend of a friend (!) who took me shopping last Friday afternoon in Shanghai. We met for the first time outside Jiao Tong University and ended up spending a fun afternoon together (I experienced the Shanghai subway at rush hour - not so fun!). I didn't know Bessie before my trip to China, but now I feel like she's a friend I can call on the next time I'm in Shanghai. We took the photo below at a coffee shop.

Above: With Bessie, my new Shanghainese friend

I posted a photo of "Jerry" in another entry. Jerry was my roommate during orientation in Shanghai. We were a good match and felt very comfortable together in our silence. With Jerry I didn't feel like I always had to be talking, which is a trap North Americans fall into sometimes (and which the Chinese can use to their advantage in business negotiations). The Chinese are more comfortable with silence. Another irony of this country! The public noisiness coupled with private silence.

So - that's my experience of the "two Chinas" so far. One of the lecturers during orientation helped clarify things when she described how the Chinese have two circles for relationships. The outer circle contains passing acquaintances, the general public and basically anyone you don't know. The inner circle is reserved for family and close friends. Why shouldn't they push past you to get on the bus or subway? You're not in their inner circle. The lecturer's tip: Bring as many people into your own inner circle as possible. They'll look out for you. I'm looking forward to classes starting on Feb. 23 so I can make more new friends.